I write to you to say I have not forgotten about you. It’s hard especially seeing others greet their own fathers, and showing happy pictures of them together. I wanted to show them a picture of us together, something recent, something we take a picture of for this sake, but of course that would freak them out. So let’s just maintain the cheesy letter without the prank. To be honest, I wanted this day to just go by, and act as if it didn’t bother me at all. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or rather, I wanted to feel your love once more. Because since you passed away, the thought of you has always been a memory of being loved. Over your love, there’s nothing to feel bitter about — not your passing away, and not even the hardships we go through after you have left.
You have taught me far more than you wished to teach me. You continue to teach me far more than I thought you would. I remember when you were already sick, you told me how you would love to be my mentor if I were to one day be an oncologist like you. But your life’s just not long enough to reach that day. I couldn’t say then how much I wanted that to happen as well. All I know at that point is that I wanted another day with you.
I had more than just a day with you after that talk. And every moment, fleeting like the sand on my hand, has become part of a shore of memories, of good memories. And I’m forever thankful for those moments. The times we cried in anger, in sadness and in happiness, proved that we have shared our lives with each other. It was not all sweet memories, some bitter, some sour, but still, in the end, I know you loved me, and you never failed to show me that.
Even if sometimes Life seems to be too demanding, I always come to a point of realizing how life is also giving. After all that’s demanded of us, God has given us a father who will always be the best to me, and that’s you.
I still have so much to learn, dad. But one day, I will write a letter again to you saying, “see how much I’ve learned, Daddy. See how much I’ve learned from you.”