I never knew what hanging by a thread meant until realizations have sunk in my system these days. It’s been three years, and it has not yet come to a point when people say, things will get easier. No, it has not become easier, but more precisely, has become heavier. When they say some sense of reality can keep us grounded, I realized when reality has fallen over your shoulders, it doesn’t only keep you grounded but sometimes make you feel screwed to the ground to the point of inaction.
Every bit of my being is already grounded except for my heart that keeps soaring and clinging to what appears to be hope, which is God’s hands. I never knew that that thread could be nothing but a positive thought that this, too, shall pass. A friend asked me, what keeps you going aside from your faith in God? I said, I wake up everyday thinking about my lifelong dreams and goals. Making concrete plans on how to achieve them, and making little goals for the day that will somehow, someday will get me to my dreams. These are big dreams, that even from a distance, as I look at them, my problems appear little and surmountable when put beside my dreams.
Indeed, in times like this, the mere thought of giving up is the start of your downhill journey; that no matter what reality befalls before you, you can’t just let yourself be defeated by giving up. One step at a time, as I perpetually say in this blog. The hope i hang on to, is not simply a thread that will bounce me off this struggle, but a golden thread that shines when lighted, leading me to a better footing in life.