Staying Home

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As I get fidgety about the upcoming exam this Monday, as is usual, I try to look for a small distraction to get myself back to focus. That didn’t sound logical, but that’s how things work for me. Hence, this blog post.

My good ol’ caffeine this morning has made my hormonal episodes even more episodic. I can’t sit still, I can’t stand still, I can’t get my mind on one thing. My mind is just all over color wheels and happy colors, pelvic cramps, breakfast, corticosteroids and immune responses. All my thoughts are blurred out on all those ideas. I’m just so glad there’s no emotional moment to endure, otherwise I would have gone out of control.

Oh, Medicine. There is no exaggeration when I say you have changed my life. Never have I come to a point that I’d be able to say you have made my life abnormal, and that it’s an abnormality I so love. It’s a love-hate relationship. My weekend is dedicated to you, while I steal little moments to spend with my family. And never have I appreciated so much the small time I get to spend with them until now.

Such a long road. There is no ending to pursuing you. I’ve been on the state of mind that it takes too long before I’m able to reach you, and yet… I am reminded that this is already medicine and every single step of the way is already an experience of you. I have not experienced death on my clinical hands yet, but this learning I have to go through is already enough to keep me seated at the edge of my chair.

End. I think that’s about enough to justify why I’m staying home to study today.

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