I remember when I used to write my classmates/friends palanca letters for their retreat. And the very common thing to say back then was “stay as you are”, or “i hope you don’t change”, or “change for the better and not for the worse”. I just find it amusing how I put a lot of thought in those letters, trying to word my thoughts in a way that the friend I’m writing to would feel good after reading my letter. At other times, when I’m not so close to the person, and I want to return the favor of receiving a letter from her, I clearly have nothing to say and yet I manage to fill the space of the paper. What nonsense I must have blurted out in those letters. During those times, I pride myself over receiving so many letters from friends, classmates, and family. Yet, I knew that from that whole bunch, only a few were really worth keeping for its truthfulness. And most of the time, those were the ones that also hurt me the most.
Now I realize how unfair it was to say to a friend not to change and to stay as she/he is. It was like saying, “please, do not mature. Stay as immature as you are.”
Walking down the memory lane, it was very interesting for me to see how I have changed. Being the melancholic that I am, I was always worried and thoughtful about my ideals. The 14 year-old version of me thought a lot about her ideals, and she was righteous and thought she was thinking so…ideal. But she was in search, and at a very slow pace,
she witnessed how the world changed around her she was able to see the world at large. Eight years after, her ideals remained intact, but she realized her will and action are not very easy to bend to her ideals.
People change, circumstances change, and I learned after so much adjustments in life that the most I can do is to learn an approach to these changes — one that will not break me, one that will shake me but will keep me grounded, and one that will push me to move forward.
And so, to my friends who wrote a letter saying, stay as you are, well, I have changed. I’m sure so did you. After all, nobody really kept their promise of staying as they are.