I’ve been in doubt since the first time I thought of you. Taking little steps to get to you, I thought, maybe in time I’d come to a clear realization of why I should pursue you. And in the little steps I took, I’m only getting closer and closer to see you realized, while I was still fleety-floaty on what I want to do with you. But these past weeks, I’ve been getting faint affirmations of why you are for me. I’m not going to wait for bigger and clear signs anymore, I think it has already been shown to me. I might have missed the sign along the way, but it doesn’t matter anymore.
My brother has told me once, doubt is a good thing because it gets us to certainty. Well, is it not true that when we get near to what we really want — something which we desire from the depths of our heart — we become uncertain for fear of losing it. This uncertainty expands to fear of losing other aspects of life as we pursue you, fear of sacrificing so much for you, and fear of realizing we’ve made a mistake. But then, we know so well your value, and you could never be worth less than any of the little things we could sacrifice for you.
It’s no longer uncertainty in the struggle and the difficulty you entail. At one point, we come to realize, we’ve been uncertain and not wanting to let go of you because we just know we can’t leave you. That it’s certainly right to be here, where the road leads to you.
Once and for all, I will face you with a lot of courage and faith. I will get to you head-on, and with arms outstretched to embrace you fully and with a lot of love.
I will be a doctor.