To What’s Real

And she said, “I trust you in your decisions”. After which, everything else seemed heavier than they were. How can she trust my decisions that made the wrong turn? Or maybe she meant, “I hope things turn out alright”. Maybe it’s not right to hold on to merely what’s real. Maybe this is just not the time for it. Maybe this is but an overview. Not in this time frame, not in the present verse.

And you start making people think, “Is this necessary?” To one who’s ready, it’s always a clear “yes”. but to one who’s not ready, “I don’t know”. And not knowing is just not enough. It’s either this, or that. There’s always a choice that we have to leave. And a choice we have to live.

Misaligned choices will have to be adjusted constantly, and it could be tiring. You say you stay not for happiness, but that because you chose to. It sounds selfless and noble, but not necessarily. You could simply be tiring yourself out without necessity.

Every laughter is real, but so is pain. People long for you in hopes of finding happiness. And maybe the lack of it is just a sign of a choice misplaced.

One thought on “To What’s Real

  1. I just realized, on the drive home, that we should not confuse the pursuit of meaning over a meaningless obsession of the pursuit. There are no wrong turns. Only right maneuvers to steer your way. Keep steering, Karen. You'll never know what you may bump into.This is a nice read:"The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change.I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still… It feels better somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected… Who knows what other pain might be waiting out there. Chances are it could be even worse.So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone… Except maybe yourself a little.When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really, really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever… that you'll never have to change again."

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